The final chapter of my book is about the importance of being grateful. I mention I’m not a fan of Thanksgiving for many reasons. Among them, just as we should honor our parents every day, we should give thanks. Always.
With Thanksgiving a few days away, I want to share inspiration from two of my teachers. I’ve written about these monks extensively in prior blog posts. Here's a link to just one. Below are teachings from a chat at a holy place in Northern India. And, check out my book to get inspired and to read research findings to support the benefits of a positive attitude and a daily gratitude practice.
The Buddhist concept of life and death acknowledges constant suffering. I try to skip over the pain and look at the beauty in life. My Indian mentors acknowledge that sometimes people feel hopeless or resentful. We aren’t all Pollyanna. But that doesn’t mean we need to suffer. All of us can cultivate a sense of gratitude regardless of what life serves us. We can’t all live in mansions and be Superman or Superwoman. But, we can all cherish every day and every breath we take.
The Vaishnav monks referred to a story from 500 years ago. A man attended a feast and was insulted by his son-in-law. The next day, he fell ill. The great (Mahaprabhu) Sri Chaitanya visited him. He reminded the sick man that one can use the same mouth from which one drinks poison, to drink nectar. In other words, see the good rather than the bad in others. Praise everyone.
Chaitanya Charan Das, whose teachings I feature in my book, quotes the Rg Veda. “Whenever I see someone I let my first thought be positive.”
You might say, “That sounds great, but maybe I’m looking at a bully or a monster.” Chaitanya admits the mind tends to focus on the negative. For example, it’s common to pine over what we don’t have which makes us perpetually unsatisfied. In a grass is greener culture everyone may have a different dessert, and we want someone else’s apple pie rather than our banana pudding.
The solution is to focus on, and be grateful for, what we do have. It takes a conscious choice, to see that glass as half-full.
If we learn to look at what we have, each one of us will have gratitude. Consciously appreciate what is in your life. Count your blessings even though your mind may jump to your problems. Make those blessings count. Write them down in a descriptive way that awakens your positive emotions.
My teacher notes that those who are resentful will be stuck on the problems. Release resentfulness, and accept and learn from the past. Yoga teaches us to live in the present. Don’t get caught in the past, living in resentment. Learn from, rather than lament, what is done. Close that chapter. Don’t be a prisoner of the past.
To help you stay rooted in the present, it can be helpful to have an anchor. Then, the wave will come but won’t sweep you away. Find that anchor and hold on to it. Then you can look back and move on.
Chaitanya Charan Das encourages people to try the following to maintain a gratitude attitude.
First, look AROUND the bad things in your life. Don’t deny the problem, but don’t fixate. Look for the good around the bad. For example, live WITH pain instead of IN pain.
Next, counter the bad. Chaitanya relies on leg braces and crutches as a result of polio and later injuries. His parents never dwelled on his handicap. They were attentive to and nurtured his intelligence. He says, “My crutches are like my glasses.” His physical impairments help him to find introspection and devotion. Spirituality inspires transformation from the have-nots to the haves.
Finally, look for the good that emerges from the bad. For example, in yoga, we talk about the lotus flower. It is glorious. Yet, it arises from muck and mud. Therefore, be like the lotus.